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Table of contents

Twelve chapters

Every curiosity has a chapter. Each opens as a two-page spread with an introduction, what you’ll learn, sections, guides and curated selections.

  1. I10 sections

    Begin Here

    Every curiosity has a chapter. This one opens the door.

    Most people arrive at this subject with more questions than vocabulary. That is entirely normal, and it is the reason this chapter exists.

  2. II10 sections

    For Her

    Organized by function and by the language listings use, never by assumption.

    Retailers file products under headings such as “for her” and “for him”. This book keeps those headings because they are what people search for, but the products themselves are organized by what they do, not by who the marketing imagines using them.

  3. III10 sections

    For Him

    Clear terminology, honest proportions, no bravado.

    Products marketed to men are often sold with louder language than the rest of the category. This chapter strips that back to what each product actually is: its shape, its material, its power source, and what it asks of the person using it.

  4. IV10 sections

    For Couples

    Shared curiosity, discussed first.

    Products for two people are less about the object and more about the conversation that precedes it. This chapter covers designs made for shared use, the accessories that support an evening, and the gift-ready sets people reach for on anniversaries.

  5. V8 sections

    Protection

    Fit, material and the fine print on the box.

    Barrier products are the least glamorous chapter and possibly the most useful. Fit, material and correct use determine how well any condom or dam performs, and the differences between products are real.

  6. VI11 sections

    Lubricants and Care

    The quiet essentials that make everything else work.

    Lubricants, cleaners and storage are the unglamorous infrastructure of this whole subject. The right formula depends on what it will touch: skin, latex, silicone, glass. The wrong combination can damage a product or irritate skin.

  7. VII12 sections

    Bondage and BDSM

    Consent is the material everything else is made from.

    This chapter treats restraint and sensation accessories as what they are for most people: a considered, consensual form of adult play with its own vocabulary, etiquette and safety habits.

  8. VIII11 sections

    Lingerie and Encounter Wear

    Photographed like fashion, sized like the real world.

    Lingerie is the most familiar category in the book and the one most often sold with the least useful information. This chapter treats it as clothing: fabric, construction, sizing and care.

  9. IX9 sections

    Sensory Experiences

    Candlelight, texture, temperature and quiet.

    Sensory accessories change the atmosphere of a room and what the skin notices. They are among the gentlest ways to explore, and among the most frequently improvised with unsuitable household objects.

  10. X9 sections

    Wellness and Comfort

    Comfort is a category, not a compromise.

    Bodies change with age, pregnancy, menopause, injury, disability and ordinary life. This chapter covers the products that make intimacy more comfortable and more accessible, from positioning pillows to controls designed for limited grip.

  11. XI9 sections

    Discreet Living

    Privacy is a practical skill.

    Shared homes, small flats, curious housemates and airport security all raise the same question: how do you keep a personal collection personal? This chapter is the practical answer.

  12. XII8 sections

    The Gift Room

    Thoughtful, not presumptuous.

    A gift in this category says something about how well you know a person. The best ones are conversations first and parcels second. This chapter organizes gift ideas by occasion and by how much the recipient already knows.