The Index

A to Z

Terminology explained plainly, without oversimplifying the claims that depend on context. Each entry says where to check further.

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39 of 39 terms

A

ABS plastic

A rigid, nonporous plastic used for control housings and some hard-bodied products.

Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS) is a hard, nonporous plastic. It is common in the handles and control housings of powered products, and in some entirely hard-bodied designs such as small bullets.

Because it is nonporous it cleans easily. It is rigid, so products made entirely from it feel firm rather than soft. Check the listing for whether the body is ABS, silicone-coated ABS or silicone throughout.

See also: Nonporous materials Silicone
Chapters: I. Begin Here II. For Her
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

Aftercare

The rest, reassurance and conversation that follow any intense or restraint-based activity.

Aftercare describes what happens after an intense experience: water, warmth, physical comfort, reassurance and a conversation about what worked and what did not. In BDSM communities it is treated as part of the activity, not an afterthought.

Aftercare needs are individual. Agreeing in advance what each person would like is part of the communication that comes before anything else.

See also: Consent Safeword and nonverbal signal
Chapters: VII. Bondage and BDSM
Read next: A Respectful Introduction to BDSM Accessories

App control

Operating a product from a phone application, usually over Bluetooth.

App-controlled products pair with a phone over Bluetooth and are operated through a manufacturer's application. Some allow control by a partner in another location over the internet.

The convenience carries privacy considerations: an app may require an account, collect usage data or request permissions. Read the privacy policy before pairing, and check whether the product still works from its own buttons or a physical remote without the app.

See also: Remote control Bluetooth range
Chapters: II. For Her IV. For Couples XI. Discreet Living
Read next: When an App-Controlled Product Needs Extra Privacy Consideration

B

Bluetooth range

The advertised wireless range of an app-connected product, which is shorter in practice.

Manufacturers advertise Bluetooth range in open air. Through a body, clothing and furniture the practical range is considerably shorter. Treat advertised figures as a maximum, not a promise.

See also: App control Remote control
Chapters: II. For Her IV. For Couples

Body-safe

A marketing term, not a regulated standard. It usually signals a nonporous, phthalate-free material.

“Body-safe” is widely used on listings but is not a regulated certification in most markets. In practice it is shorthand for a nonporous material such as silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel or ABS plastic that does not contain phthalates.

Because the term is unregulated, look past it to the named material. A listing that names platinum-cured silicone tells you more than one that says only “body-safe”.

See also: Nonporous materials Phthalates Silicone
Chapters: I. Begin Here X. Wellness and Comfort
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

Borosilicate glass

A strong, thermally stable, nonporous glass used for rigid products.

Borosilicate glass is the same family of glass used in laboratory equipment and oven-safe cookware. It is nonporous, rigid and resistant to sudden temperature changes within reason, which is why it is the standard glass for intimate products.

It is compatible with every lubricant family and can be gently warmed or cooled in water. Any glass product should be inspected for chips before use and retired if damaged.

See also: Temperature play Nonporous materials
Chapters: IX. Sensory Experiences

C

Charging lock

A feature that prevents a product from switching on while it is charging.

Some rechargeable products disable their controls while connected to a charger. This is a safety and convenience feature rather than a fault. It is distinct from a travel lock, which prevents accidental activation in a bag.

See also: Travel lock USB charging
Chapters: XI. Discreet Living I. Begin Here

Circulation and nerve awareness

The signs that a ring or restraint is too tight and must be removed immediately.

Anything worn around a limb or the body can compress blood vessels and nerves. Numbness, tingling, coldness, colour change or pins-and-needles are signs to release immediately, not to wait and see.

Beginner products are designed with this in mind: soft materials, wide contact areas, quick release. Manufacturers often state a maximum wear time; follow it.

See also: Quick release Safeword and nonverbal signal
Chapters: III. For Him VII. Bondage and BDSM

Condom fit

How well a condom matches the body, expressed by nominal width rather than a size label.

A condom that is too tight can be uncomfortable and more likely to break; one that is too loose can slip. Fit is expressed as nominal width in millimetres, printed on the packaging, and it is the reliable way to compare products across brands.

Public-health guidance stresses that correct and consistent use according to the manufacturer's instructions is what makes any barrier effective. No barrier eliminates all risk.

See also: Nominal width Latex Polyisoprene
Chapters: V. Protection
Read next: Understanding Condom Size and Material Options
Sources: World Health Organization — Condoms

Cyberskin and proprietary material names

Brand names for soft, skin-like elastomer blends. Usually porous; check the manufacturer's care guidance.

Cyberskin, UR3, Fanta Flesh and similar names are proprietary labels for soft thermoplastic elastomer blends designed to feel skin-like. Formulations differ between brands and are not always fully disclosed.

Most of these materials are porous, which means they can retain moisture and are harder to clean thoroughly. Manufacturers typically recommend water-based lubricant only, careful drying and a renewing powder. Treat any specific claim about a proprietary material as something to confirm in the manufacturer's own documentation.

See also: TPE and TPR Porous materials Elastomer
Chapters: III. For Him I. Begin Here
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

E

Elastomer

A flexible, rubber-like polymer. Silicone is one; TPE is another with different properties.

Elastomer is a general term for stretchy, rubber-like materials. Silicone is an elastomer; so are thermoplastic elastomers (TPE and TPR). They are not interchangeable: silicone is generally nonporous and heat-stable, while TPE is generally porous and softer.

When a listing says only “elastomer” or “rubber”, it is not telling you which. Look for a named material.

See also: Silicone TPE and TPR
Chapters: III. For Him I. Begin Here

F

Flared base

A wide base or retrieval handle that prevents a product travelling beyond reach. Essential for any product used in the anal category.

A flared base is a wide, stable base that is substantially larger than the body of the product. Any product intended for anal use must have one, or an equivalent retrieval handle or loop.

This is not a preference; products without a base can travel beyond reach and require medical retrieval. If a listing in this category does not show a base clearly, choose another product.

See also: Insertable length Silicone
Chapters: III. For Him II. For Her
Read next: How to Choose Your First Intimacy Product

G

Glycerin

A common humectant in water-based lubricants that some people with sensitive skin prefer to avoid.

Glycerin is added to many water-based lubricants for slip and longevity. Some people report irritation or sensitivity, and some sources discuss its effect on lubricant osmolality. Glycerin-free formulas are widely available for those who prefer them.

This is a matter of individual preference and sensitivity, not a rule. Persistent irritation from any product is a reason to stop using it and, if it continues, to speak with a professional.

See also: Osmolality Water-based lubricant Hypoallergenic
Chapters: VI. Lubricants and Care
Read next: Water-Based Versus Silicone-Based Lubricant

H

Hypoallergenic

A marketing term meaning “less likely to cause a reaction”. It is not a guarantee and is not regulated.

“Hypoallergenic” has no standard legal definition in most markets. It generally indicates that common irritants such as fragrance have been left out, but it cannot promise that a product will not cause a reaction in a particular person.

Anyone with known allergies should read the full ingredient list and, where possible, patch-test on the inner arm before use.

See also: Glycerin Latex
Chapters: VI. Lubricants and Care X. Wellness and Comfort

I

Insertable length

The portion of a product designed for internal use, as distinct from total length.

Manufacturers usually publish total length and insertable length separately. The difference is the handle, base or control section. When comparing products, insertable length and widest diameter are the two numbers that describe fit.

See also: Flared base Nominal width
Chapters: I. Begin Here II. For Her III. For Him
Read next: How to Read Product Measurements

IP rating

An ingress-protection code such as IPX7 that describes resistance to water. The second digit is the one that matters for water.

IP ratings follow the IEC 60529 standard. The first digit describes protection against solids (an X means it was not tested); the second describes protection against water. IPX7, for example, indicates the product withstood immersion in up to one metre of water for thirty minutes under test conditions.

Not every listing publishes an IP rating. Where one is absent, the words “waterproof” and “water-resistant” are marketing terms without a defined test behind them, and the manufacturer's instructions are the authority.

See also: Waterproof versus water-resistant
Chapters: II. For Her I. Begin Here
Read next: What “Waterproof” Really Means
Sources: IEC 60529 (Ingress Protection) overview

L

Lace, mesh and satin

The three fabric families most common in lingerie, each with its own care needs.

Lace is an openwork fabric, often nylon or a cotton blend; mesh is a fine net; satin describes a weave rather than a fibre and can be silk or polyester. All three usually want a cold hand wash and flat drying. Silk satin is the most delicate.

Fibre content is listed on the garment and often on the listing. It determines both feel and care.

See also: Size chart
Chapters: VIII. Lingerie and Encounter Wear

Latex

Natural rubber latex, the most common condom material. Weakened by oil-based products; some people are allergic.

Natural rubber latex is the most widely used condom material and is well studied. Two practical facts follow it everywhere: oil-based products can weaken it, and a minority of people are allergic to it.

Non-latex alternatives include polyisoprene and polyurethane. If you suspect a latex allergy, a healthcare professional can advise.

See also: Polyisoprene Condom fit Nominal width
Chapters: V. Protection VI. Lubricants and Care
Read next: Understanding Condom Size and Material Options
Sources: NHS — Condoms

M

Massage candle

A candle formulated to melt at a low temperature into a body-safe oil. Not an ordinary candle.

Massage candles use waxes and butters that melt well below the temperature of ordinary candle wax, producing a warm oil intended for the skin. Ordinary paraffin or soy candles are not formulated for this and must never be used on skin.

The melted oil is oil-based, so it should be kept away from latex barriers and silicone products. Test on the inner wrist first and follow the manufacturer's instructions.

See also: Latex Temperature play
Chapters: IX. Sensory Experiences IV. For Couples

N

Nominal width

The condom sizing measurement, in millimetres, printed on the box. The reliable way to compare fit.

Nominal width is the width of a condom laid flat, in millimetres. It is printed on the packaging and, unlike words such as “large” or “snug”, means the same thing from one brand to the next.

Manufacturers publish guidance on matching nominal width to measured circumference. Use that guidance rather than guessing from a label.

See also: Condom fit Latex
Chapters: V. Protection
Read next: Understanding Condom Size and Material Options

Nonporous materials

Materials without microscopic pores, which can be cleaned thoroughly: silicone, glass, stainless steel, ABS.

A nonporous material has no microscopic pores in which moisture or residue can lodge. Platinum-cured silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel and ABS plastic are the common nonporous materials in this category.

Nonporous products can be cleaned thoroughly and are the sensible choice for anything shared or used internally. Even so, follow the manufacturer's cleaning instructions rather than assuming a material can be boiled or sterilised.

See also: Porous materials Silicone Body-safe
Chapters: I. Begin Here VI. Lubricants and Care IV. For Couples
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

O

Osmolality

A measure of a lubricant's concentration relative to body tissue, discussed in some public-health guidance.

Osmolality describes the concentration of dissolved particles in a liquid. Some public-health guidance, including a World Health Organization advisory note, discusses lubricant osmolality and pH in relation to tissue irritation, and suggests that formulas closer to the body's own values are preferable.

Manufacturers do not always publish these figures. Where they do, they are useful for people with sensitive skin. Where they do not, this is one of the reasons fragrance-free, glycerin-free formulas are often suggested as a cautious starting point.

See also: Glycerin Water-based lubricant
Chapters: VI. Lubricants and Care X. Wellness and Comfort
Sources: WHO — Use and procurement of additional lubricants (advisory note)

P

Phthalates

Plasticisers historically used to soften PVC and jelly products. Widely avoided; look for “phthalate-free”.

Phthalates are chemicals used to soften plastics. They were common in inexpensive jelly and PVC products and have been restricted in children's products and some other categories in several jurisdictions because of health concerns.

Most reputable manufacturers now state that their products are phthalate-free. If a soft, jelly-like product does not say so, treat that silence as informative.

See also: Porous materials Body-safe
Chapters: I. Begin Here
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

Polyisoprene

A synthetic, non-latex condom material for people with latex sensitivity.

Polyisoprene is a synthetic rubber with properties similar to natural latex but without the latex proteins that cause allergic reactions. It is one of the common non-latex condom materials, alongside polyurethane.

Like latex, polyisoprene is generally reported to be weakened by oil-based products. Check the packaging.

See also: Latex Condom fit
Chapters: V. Protection

Porous materials

Materials with microscopic pores that can retain moisture: TPE, TPR, PVC, jelly, proprietary skin-like blends.

Porous materials have tiny surface openings in which moisture and residue can remain after washing. Thermoplastic elastomers, PVC, jelly rubber and most proprietary skin-like materials are porous.

Porous products can be perfectly good choices when cleaned diligently, dried completely and not shared without a barrier. They generally degrade sooner than nonporous materials and should be replaced when they become sticky, discoloured or damaged.

See also: Nonporous materials TPE and TPR Cyberskin and proprietary material names
Chapters: I. Begin Here III. For Him
Read next: How to Clean and Dry Products Properly

Q

Quick release

Any closure that can be undone in seconds without tools. The defining feature of a beginner restraint.

Quick release describes hook-and-loop closures, quick-release buckles and simple ties that open in a second or two without a key, tool or knot expertise. It is the single most important feature of a beginner restraint.

Plan the release before the restraint. Keep safety scissors within reach for anything that is not quick-release, and never use anything you could not undo in an emergency.

See also: Circulation and nerve awareness Safeword and nonverbal signal Consent
Chapters: VII. Bondage and BDSM
Read next: A Respectful Introduction to BDSM Accessories

R

Remote control

A separate physical controller for a product, distinct from app control.

A physical remote allows a partner to operate a product without a phone. Ranges are short and vary. Check whether the remote is included, what battery it uses and whether the product can still be operated from its own buttons.

See also: App control Bluetooth range
Chapters: II. For Her III. For Him IV. For Couples

S

Safeword and nonverbal signal

An agreed word, and an agreed gesture, that stops everything immediately.

A safeword is a pre-agreed word that means stop, chosen so it cannot be confused with anything said in play. Many people also use a graded system such as green, yellow and red.

A nonverbal signal, such as dropping a held object or tapping twice, covers situations where speech is muffled or difficult. Agree both before starting, and honour them instantly and without discussion.

See also: Consent Aftercare Quick release
Chapters: VII. Bondage and BDSM
Read next: A Respectful Introduction to BDSM Accessories

Silicone

The most widely recommended product material: nonporous, flexible, heat-stable. Platinum-cured is the premium grade.

Silicone is a nonporous, flexible, heat-stable elastomer. It is the most widely recommended material for intimate products because it cleans thoroughly, tolerates a wide temperature range and does not contain phthalates.

“Platinum-cured” or “medical-grade” silicone are common descriptors; the former refers to the curing process and generally indicates a purer material. These descriptors are supplied by manufacturers and are not independently certified on most listings.

Silicone-based lubricants are widely reported to affect some silicone products. Water-based lubricant is the conventional pairing.

See also: Nonporous materials Silicone-based lubricant Elastomer
Chapters: I. Begin Here II. For Her III. For Him VI. Lubricants and Care
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

Silicone-based lubricant

Long-lasting, water-resistant lubricant. Check compatibility with silicone products.

Silicone-based lubricants are made from silicones such as dimethicone. They last longer than water-based formulas and are not washed away by water, which makes them popular for use in the bath.

They are widely reported to degrade the surface of some silicone products, and manufacturers of those products often advise against the combination. They are generally described as compatible with latex barriers, glass and metal. Confirm on the packaging.

See also: Water-based lubricant Silicone
Chapters: VI. Lubricants and Care
Read next: Water-Based Versus Silicone-Based Lubricant

Size chart

The brand's own measurement table. Always more reliable than a size label from another brand.

Sizing differs between brands and between countries. A brand's size chart converts body measurements into its own labels and is the only reliable guide. A tape measure and five minutes save most returns.

See also: Lace, mesh and satin
Chapters: VIII. Lingerie and Encounter Wear

Storage

Keeping products clean, dry, separate and private.

Good storage is dry, dust-free and separate. Some materials can react with each other when stored in contact for long periods, so keep products in individual pouches. Lockable cases add privacy in a shared home; padded pouches add protection in luggage.

See also: Travel lock Nonporous materials
Chapters: XI. Discreet Living I. Begin Here VI. Lubricants and Care
Read next: A Beginner’s Guide to Discreet Storage

T

Temperature play

Gently warming or cooling a glass or steel product in water. Never extremes; always test first.

Borosilicate glass and stainless steel products can be placed in warm or cool water for a few minutes to change how they feel. Test on the inner wrist before use, avoid hot or iced water, and never use a microwave, oven or freezer.

See also: Borosilicate glass Massage candle
Chapters: IX. Sensory Experiences

TPE and TPR

Thermoplastic elastomer and thermoplastic rubber: soft, inexpensive, generally porous materials.

TPE and TPR are soft, stretchy thermoplastics common in sleeves, rings and budget products. They are inexpensive and pleasant to the touch but are generally porous, which means diligent cleaning and complete drying are essential.

Manufacturers typically recommend water-based lubricant only, since oil and silicone formulas can degrade the material. Replace products that become sticky or discoloured.

See also: Porous materials Elastomer Cyberskin and proprietary material names
Chapters: III. For Him I. Begin Here
Read next: Understanding Product Materials

Travel lock

A button sequence that prevents a product switching on accidentally in a bag.

Most rechargeable products include a travel lock, usually activated by holding a button for several seconds. It stops the product turning on in luggage. Learn the sequence before packing, and check the manual for how to unlock it.

See also: Charging lock Storage
Chapters: XI. Discreet Living II. For Her III. For Him
Read next: What to Check Before Travelling with Intimate Products

U

USB charging

Charging from a standard USB port, by cable or magnetic contact. Check which cable a product uses.

Rechargeable products charge from USB, either through a small port with a cover or through magnetic contacts. Magnetic charging allows a fully sealed, waterproof body but uses a proprietary cable that is easy to lose. Ported designs use more common cables but may only be water-resistant.

See also: Charging lock Waterproof versus water-resistant
Chapters: I. Begin Here XI. Discreet Living
Read next: How to Compare Rechargeable Products

W

Water-based lubricant

The most versatile lubricant family: generally compatible with latex and silicone, easy to wash away.

Water-based lubricants are generally described as compatible with latex barriers and with silicone, glass and metal products. They wash off with water and need reapplying more often than silicone formulas. They are not suitable for use in water.

Ingredients vary. Fragrance-free and glycerin-free formulas are common choices for sensitive skin.

See also: Silicone-based lubricant Glycerin Osmolality
Chapters: VI. Lubricants and Care I. Begin Here
Read next: Water-Based Versus Silicone-Based Lubricant

Waterproof versus water-resistant

Waterproof usually means submersible; water-resistant means splash-safe. Only an IP rating defines either.

On most listings, “waterproof” means the product can be submerged and used in the bath, while “water-resistant” or “splash-proof” means it will tolerate washing under a tap but not immersion. Neither word has a defined meaning without an IP rating.

Where a product has a charging port with a cover, treat it as water-resistant at most unless the manufacturer states otherwise. Getting water into a port is the most common way a product is damaged.

See also: IP rating USB charging
Chapters: II. For Her III. For Him I. Begin Here
Read next: What “Waterproof” Really Means