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Beginner’s Guide

Start here, calmly.

New to the subject? Start with clear explanations, considerate guidance, and the questions worth asking before you choose.

Nothing on this page assumes what you want, who you are or what you already know. It is an ordered path through the book: eight short steps, each pointing at a section or note that explains one thing properly.

  1. 1

    Decide who and what this is for

    Yourself, a partner or both; external, internal, wearable or sensory. Two answers narrow the whole book to a chapter or two.

    Read the method
  2. 2

    Learn to read a listing

    Materials, dimensions, power and water rating are the four specifications that matter. Everything else is marketing.

    Understand materials
  3. 3

    Check the measurements

    Total length, insertable length and diameter. Compare them to something real, and choose the smaller of two options.

    Read measurements
  4. 4

    Choose a comfortable starting point

    Modest, simple, nonporous and quiet. Products are easier to grow out of than into.

    Choose a first product
  5. 5

    Add the two bottles

    A fragrance-free water-based lubricant and a cleaner suited to your material, or mild soap.

    Lubricants and care
  6. 6

    Plan cleaning and storage

    Wash, dry completely, store separately and privately. This is what makes products last.

    Storage guide
  7. 7

    Answer the last questions

    Run the checklist before buying, and check the current details on the product page rather than anywhere else.

    Questions to consider
  8. 8

    Know when to ask a professional

    Pain, a medical condition, pregnancy-related questions, allergies or persistent irritation are reasons to talk to someone qualified first.

    When to consult

Chapter I

Begin Here

Most people arrive at this subject with more questions than vocabulary. That is entirely normal, and it is the reason this chapter exists.