- Beginner Friendly
External stimulation
Palm-Form External Massager
A small, rounded design that sits in the palm and asks very little of a first-time buyer.
- Level
- Beginner
- Power
- Rechargeable
- Water
- Waterproof
- Price tier
- Mid-range
The private guide
The private guide
you were looking for
A beautifully organized guide to intimate products, thoughtful exploration, and more confident choices.
A discreet guide for curious adults. 18+
Enter the chapters
Every curiosity
has a chapter.
Twelve chapters, each a complete guide to one part of the subject: what the products are, how they are described, what to check, and how to care for them. Open any of them below, or begin with the guide if the subject is new.
Begin with these
Three chapters to open first
A welcome, a conversation, and the quiet essentials.
Beginner’s Guide
New to the subject?
Start with clear explanations, considerate guidance, and the questions worth asking before you choose.
- 1Decide who and what this is for
- 2Learn to read a listing
- 3Check the measurements
- 4Choose a comfortable starting point
- 5Add the two bottles
- 6Plan cleaning and storage
- 7Answer the last questions
- 8Know when to ask a professional
Guided discovery
Find your chapter
Nine short questions, answered privately, that point you to the chapters worth reading first.
Find your chapter
Question 1 of 9
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Notes from the Book
Featured notes
Original editorial guidance, reviewed and sourced where a claim needs it.
7 min · reviewed September 10, 2026
How to Choose Your First Intimacy Product
A calm, practical method for turning vague curiosity into a confident first choice.
9 min · reviewed September 10, 2026
Understanding Product Materials
Silicone, glass, steel, ABS and the porous family, explained without oversimplifying.
6 min · reviewed September 10, 2026
Water-Based Versus Silicone-Based Lubricant
Two families, one compatibility question, and a sensible default for most people.
Curated collection · September
The Considerate First Drawer
Everything a first collection needs, and nothing it does not.
A first collection should be small, forgiving and easy to look after. This one pairs a simple external product with the two bottles every bedside needs and a case to keep it all private.
Affiliate links: My Dark Book may earn a commission when you purchase through qualifying links, at no additional cost to you. Details.
- Beginner Friendly
Water-based lubricants
Water-Based Lubricant, Fragrance-Free
The default choice: generally compatible with latex and silicone, easy to wash away.
- Level
- Beginner
- Power
- Non-powered
- Water
- Not applicable
- Price tier
- Accessible
- Easy to Clean
Toy cleaners
Foaming Product Cleaner
A cleanser formulated for intimate products. Mild soap and water is the alternative many manufacturers recommend.
- Level
- Beginner
- Power
- Non-powered
- Water
- Not applicable
- Price tier
- Accessible
- Editor's Shortlist
Lockable storage
Lockable Storage Case
A combination-lock case that keeps a collection private in a shared home.
- Level
- Beginner
- Power
- Non-powered
- Water
- Not applicable
- Price tier
- Mid-range
Materials and care
The reference shelf
The terms that matter most, explained in plain language.
- Silicone
- The most widely recommended product material: nonporous, flexible, heat-stable. Platinum-cured is the premium grade.
- Nonporous materials
- Materials without microscopic pores, which can be cleaned thoroughly: silicone, glass, stainless steel, ABS.
- Water-based lubricant
- The most versatile lubricant family: generally compatible with latex and silicone, easy to wash away.
- Waterproof versus water-resistant
- Waterproof usually means submersible; water-resistant means splash-safe. Only an IP rating defines either.
- Phthalates
- Plasticisers historically used to soften PVC and jelly products. Widely avoided; look for “phthalate-free”.
- Storage
- Keeping products clean, dry, separate and private.
Our philosophy
“Curiosity deserves good information. My Dark Book brings together thoughtful guidance, carefully organized product categories, and discreet pathways to explore them, without pressure, embarrassment, or judgment.”
Read about how the book is written and how little it records.
Newsletter
Letters from the Book
Occasional new chapters, discreet guides, and carefully curated discoveries. No unnecessary messages.